Thrown Into the Darkness
by R Amythest
Summary: The next morning was the time Raven knew Lucius was going to declare his love for him. But instead, Lucius was killed that night, and Raven headed toward a steady spiral into darkness and insanity... One-Shot Raven x Lucius, One-Sided Rebecca x Raven


AN: Just a quick story I've done out of boredom... sad and sweet! Not my best, but I personally like it to some extent. --smiles happily--

Pairing: Raven/Lucius... as usual. Yes, Lucius is a male. Very tragic. And... one-sided Rebecca/Raven. (I hate that pairing! But... I need it for the plot. --sigh--)

Warnings: Deathfic. Shounen-ai, but nothing beyond cuddling described. Dark. One OC... but he's not that important. Just Rebecca and Raven's kid. --shudders slightly at the thought-- Raven 'n' Rebecca had a lemon? Err.... And all I can say is, once you get past the slightly dull beginning, you'll like it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Fire Emblem.

Special Note for potter29vo: If you've decided to read this for some reason... I know you love Raven/Rebecca, but I sincerely prefer Raven/Lucius.

* * *

**--Thrown Into the Darkness--**

* * *

Raymond sipped his cup of tea luxiriously, gazing out the window. He promptly dropped the cup on the table as a child tackled him, sending him sprawling on the floor. "Daddy!" he whined. "Mommy won't tell me how you two met!"

Raymond remained on the floor for a moment, watching the light dance gently on the ceiling before whispering, "We met..."

* * *

_"'ello Sir Raven!"_

_"... Go away."_

_A pout. "Whyyyy?"_

_"DAMNIT, GO AWAY!"_

_"...just 'cause he died doesn't mean you have to. You should really eat y'know."_

_" ... "_

_" ... "_

_" ... "_

_" ... why are you glaring at me like that?"_

_" ... "_

_" ... Sir Raven ... "_

_" ... go away."_

_" ... too bad, I'm assigned to tent with you."_

_"WHAT?!"_

_"Yeah... Wil kinda got too attached to Rath to stay in seperate rooms..." -- Rebecca twitched her eye and muttered "ew!" -- "so I ended up staying with you in place of Lucius."_

_" ... "_

_" ...the tactitian hopes that we'll become 'something more.'"_

_"He's horny. Go away."_

_"But really, why not?! It's not like you'd've ended up marrying him anyway, he swore on the vows of chastity..."[1]_

_" ... ... does it matter?"_

_"Well, for one thing, you can marry me!"_

_"...I have no desire to."_

_"I can change that!"_

_"...go away."_

* * *

"Five years... five years ago I met '_mommy,'_" Raymond finally mustered. His child blinked innocently, tilting his head.

"It must've been a wonderful day!"

"No... NO, it wasn't!" he snaped, effectivly sending his child to the other side of his chair in fright. "We met as a result of a freakin' TRAGEDY! And... I've always loved someone else."

* * *

_"It's not like you can get any further away from him than you already have... what do you have to lose?"_

_Those were the words of encouragement Priscilla had offered in an attempt to bring cheer to her cynical brother. Even through disappointment, she had encouraged him to continue. Raven stood still, watching Lucius pass calmly by._

_"Priscilla... you seem to be assuming that he'll accept."_

_"You're distancing yourself as it already is... even if he rejects, you can stand near him and call him your friend..."_

_"You think I **like** getting my hopes crushed?!"_

_"No but... Lord brother..."_

_"... Do you know something I don't?"_

_"Yes... but--"_

_"Fine."_

_Priscilla watched in amazement and bewilderment as Raymond, slightly stiff, approached the target of his desires._

_"So then, Lucius... I've been wanting to talk to you..."_

* * *

"Ooo! Mommy told me some guy was playing with your heart and telling you that he loved you when he could never really be with you and... daddy, you're scaring me!"

Raymond clenched his teeth, rising from his spot on the floor, and, with a vein twitching uncontrollably, he muttered, "Is that so..."

With that, he stepped into the kitchen, roaring, "REBECCA!! WHAT HAVE YOU TOLD SKYE?!"

* * *

_No nights were lonely without him. They had never quite taken it to the final step, but both were happy to simply bask in each other's company._

_"Lord Raymond..." Lucius murmured softly, "I'm cold."_

_Raven yawned and rolled over, peeking over at him with an odd glow in his eyes. "What do you suggest I do?"_

_Lucius blushed intensively, staring at his pillow, obviously having difficulty with his words. "I... ah.... Eep!" He squeaked slightly as Raven lifted the covers, yawning (again) and cuddling up to him._

_"I believe this is what you had in mind...?"_

_"Even better," he murmured, resting his head gently againt Raven's chest. He yawned, shifting slightly and blushing. "Though... I suppose Serra would love the news that we've slept together... we must be careful...."_

_Raven peeked out from behind a crimson bang. "...Don't tell anyone."_

_Lucius smiled gently, whispering, "Of course," then adding playfully, "I see no need to inform the whole group of our little activity here."_

_Raven made a choking sound, coughing lightly. He gave Lucius a glare. Lucius just smiled again, seeing some warmth in the cold eyes._

_"Ah, Lord Raymond..."_

_"I've told you: just Raven or Raymond will be fine."_

_"Yes... Raymond?"_

_"Hn? It can wait until morning, right? I'd prefer to be more... awake to listen to this." He smirked as if he knew what was to be said._

_Lucius smiled again and relaxed. "Yes, of course..."_

_But that night, Lucius was killed._

_

* * *

_

Rebecca turned around to find Raven towering above her, a mad look in his eyes. "What have you told 'our' child?!" he growled.

Rebecca shook her head, looking at him sadly. "Always, always you were distant towards Skye. You... I hate to take it to this level of speech, but you neglected him! Don't you think our only child deserves to know why his father is so..." -- she groped for a word -- "cold?"

"Do you think I'd stop being cold if you told him those lies?!" he spat maliciously. Rebecca raised her butcher knife in defense, backing away until she collided against the counter behind her.

"They're not!" she cried. "Can't you see that you would've never been together!? He swore chastity, you loved the thrill of combat... your personalities, just..." she waved the butcher knife around crazily, "I don't see how it'd ever work!" She looked behind her, swallowing as Raven neared.

"You have no place to run," Raven stated as-matter-of-factly. "Stop trying to escape the inevadible."

"You would never've been happy with him..."

He was so close at this point that his breath, tinged lightly with blood, wafted across Rebecca's face. The intimacy made Raven shudder. Rebecca stayed absolutely still, praying that this may be a sign of their relationship's recovery.

"_'Opposites attract.' _Is that not what you said in your own defense?"

Rebecca gulped, blinking back tears. "I knew that you loved him... and Lucius really was a kind and wonderful person... but... you were taking it too harshly... and..." she gulped again and continued to babble, "I... wanted to help... it's not like he would've came back again...." She fidgeted uncomfortably under Raven's steady glare.

"..."

* * *

_Darkness. Darkness surrounded Raven, unwilling to let him go. All around him, he saw a void, empty of Lucius's soothing light. "Where are you?" he whispered. "Where?" _

_Then suddenly, the darkness was driven straight out as Lucius appeared in front of him. "Lucius!" he shouted, swimming through emptiness in an attempt to reach his love. __But as he approached, he could see flecks of crimson showing on his pure blue robe, dripping down his perfect cheeks. "What's wrong?" he asked softly as he approached the body._

_But clearly, he could see what was wrong. As he touched his skin, he was met with an odd, tingling sensation; chills passed along his fingertips and froze his muscles. He just sat there, shivering in the cold._

_"He's gone," a gruff voice suddenly said out of the darkness. He spun around to face Hector. He had long dreaded this moment. Lucius had promised to confront Hector with him... but he was gone. Lucius was gone. The thought finally emerged into the consciousness in his mind._

_He was gone._

_Lucius was gone._

_Raven stayed still, hating himself for his patheticness in front of his mortal enemy._

_"There's nothing you can do... Raymond," Hector growled. Raven jumped at this address, glaring._

_"...so you know," he finally mustered._

_"Yes. I do. I don't think I'd like to tell you right now, but I see no choice." He glanced at Lucius's body, lying still._

_"Don't touch him!" Raven growled. "You've already taken my parents... YOU!" He leapt onto Hector, the surprise attack sending them sprawling to the floor. "YOU KILLED HIM!"_

_"I did no such thing!" Hector sputtered in indignation._

_But Raven would not see past his blind rage. "YOU ALREADY TOOK MY FUTURE, MY FAMILY, MY LAND!! MUST YOU ALSO TAKE THE ONLY ONE I'VE TRULY LOVED?!"[2] He unsheathed his sword and made a desperate attempt to spear Hector in his place on the floor, but he felt himself being dragged off by four amazingly strong hands. He flailed wildly, crying in pain and desperation until finally, exhausted, he slumped and looked around weakly._

_"...He's gone, isn't he?" he moaned in a desperate attempt to relieve himself from the endless void._

_A silence. Then Lyn's soft voice replied, "Yes... yes he is."_

_Then the darkness closed up on him again._

_

* * *

_

"Please Raymond," she murmured, "please understand. He's gone now. You're not getting him back."

Raven blinked twice, as if waking himself out of a trance. He looked around the kitchen slowly, a dazed expression on his face, reaching for the sword in the corner.

Rebecca panicked. "Please, Raymond, don't! You're not going to--"

"I'm not," he snapped, attaching the scabbard to his belt.[3] "This does not involve you."

The child peeked in. "Mommy, I thought you said daddy wasn't going to use the scary sword again..."

Rebecca stiffened against the counter. "Skye... please... go into your room and don't come out until I say so."

Skye nodded, seemingly understanding, and quickly scurried into the small room. Raven did not watch as he withdrew the sword and sliced the air several times before quickly resheathing it.

"Goodbye Rebecca."

Rebecca winced and ducked underneath her arms, closing her eyes and awaiting the splash of blood that would come from either of them. But her efforts did nothing, for soon a breeze followed. She peeked out from under her arms to find that Raven was no longer there. She ran to the front of the house, watching quietly as Raven's feet stirred dust from the mahogany road.

_"He always loved the thrill of combat,"_ she half-whispered, half-sobbed from the window. "Until Lucius died... then he ruined his life...." He was gone again. Couldn't he see that she was just trying to free him from himself?

* * *

_Raven sat in front of the tombstone, silent. His eyes were dull and withdrawn, his shoulders limp and slumped, his sword carelessly sheathed at his side. He was barely aware of footsteps at his side and he weakly muttered, "Lucius, is that you?"_

_There was a pause in the footsteps as an obviously female voice replied, "No, it's me."_

_"Hn," he grunted, keeping his eyes on the golden lettering. "What are you doing?"_

_"Ummm," there was a pause as Rebecca tried to gather her thoughts into a coherent sentence. "Trying... to make sure you're okay."_

_"I'm not."_

_"Well..." Rebecca started helplessly, "I... I don't want you to kill yourself..."_

_Raven traced the slim golden letters running across Lucius's tombstone. _

_Goodbye, my love  
__I'll be waiting for you   
__Somewhere just over the golden horizon._

_"Why do you want me to stay?" he muttered, running rough fingers again over the delicately engraved poem. "It's not like it matters to you..."_

_"Raven!" she shouted, her voice going hoarse and tears dripping from her lashes. "Please! It's not the end of the world!" She pointed at the poem. "He's waiting! He probably wants you to live a happy life, right?!"_

_Raven was silent, tracing the letter "d" in golden, rubbing one finger with the other, testing the feel of his calloused hands. He gave no answer._

_Rebecca continued relentlessly. "Remember that last battle? Lucius told you himself, after that spear wound, that he wanted you to keep living if he died from it..."_

_His head shot up. "How do you know?!"_

_"Don't you remember?!" she cried in frustration. "I was with Serra when she healed him!"_

_Raven lowered his head again, tracing the word "horizon" over and over with rough, insensitive fingers, wishing he could feel the smooth powder._

_"Raven?"_

_He stiffened slightly. "... would you call me Raymond? And say it a little softer?"_

_Rebecca cleared her throat and whispered, "Raymond?"_

_If he closed his eyes at that moment, in his heart, he could hear Lucius calling him from the heavens. But in his mind, he knew it was only Rebecca's feigned call. "Fine... I'll stay... for now..."_

* * *

"Mommy, is it safe?" Skye squeaked from his room.

Rebecca gave a nod before realizing he could not see her. "Yes, it is. Daddy's gone."

Skye looked out the window, watching the lone figure plod on and on the endless road into the evening sky. "But mommy..." -- he studied the scene carefully -- "...daddy looks almost happy. Like he's just come home or something, but not this home... like when he really comes home to a home he really really wants to be in...." Skye shook his head in frustration. "I dunno..."

Rebecca sighed painfully. "I suppose it's better for him... I've wasted enough of his years in vain, I suppose." She slowly tread back to the kitchen, a few tears dropping down her cheeks.

Indeed, it would be a long night for her.

* * *

_He stepped into the blinding light of the chapel and blinked at the sudden light. Rebecca was standing at the podium, waiting for him with happy, glistening eyes. In his mind's eye, he could see Lucius with the same expression, blue eyes shining, hair coming down in luscious waves. He gulped, approaching with a dry throat._

_[4]"Raymond__, do you take Rebecca for your lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer in sickness and in health, until death do you part?" the minister chanted.  
  
Raven looked at Rebecca, who stood there, still and jubilant, looking deeper and deeper into her turquoise eyes, seeing nothing but Lucius, flourishing in the beautiful white robe.  
  
"Rebecca, do you take Raymond to be your lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer in sickness and in health, until death do you part?"  
  
Rebecca murmured, "I do," as Raymond ad libbed those words under his breath, watching light shine off golden hair and a perfect, heart-shaped face.  
  
**"**You have declared your consent before the Church. May St. Elimine in his goodness strengthen your consent and fill you both with his blessings. What St. Elimine has joined, men must not divide."  
_

_"Amen," was the single word that rippled throughout the small church. Rebecca looked at Raven, hope shining in her eyes._

_"St. Elimine, bless these rings which we bless in your name," the minister's strong voice echoed throughout the small church. "Grant that those who wear them may always have a deep faith in each other. May they do your will and always live together in peace, good will and love."_

_Rebecca withdrew a tiny box, guiding Raven's fingers to open it carefully, letting the light strike it and shine, illuminating the podium. Raven, in return, took out a box of his own, giving it to Rebecca, eyes never once leaving her face; the image of Lucius was still firmly plastered on, and he watched as his delicate features lightened in delight as the sapphire that matched his eyes shone brightly._

  
_"Amen" echoed throughout the church, stronger and more assertive this time, with a few collective romantic sighs._

__

_"You may kiss the bride," the minister nearly bellowed. Raven looked down at Rebecca's face, seeing nothing but the way Lucius had looked at him that night, when he first wanted to tell him that he loved him._

__

_"Raymond," he heard him whisper. But somewhere in his clouded mind, he remembered that he missed something. He leaned down to taste Lucius's sweet lips again, but was shocked when the slight taste of cinnamon and sugar pushed its way into his mouth._

_As they kissed, the memories can back to him, and in his mind, he was crying. It was all but a fantasy._

_'Lucius, you said you'd always be there for me...'_

_'You said you'd always be there to lead me away from the darkness...'_

_'To shine light into my soul...'_

_'Where are you now?'_

_'Now that I'm thrown into the darkness...'_

* * *

[1] In Serra and Oswin Support convo A, Serra mentions that she has taken the vows of chastity. I'm guessing this applies to Elimine's monks as well. That... and watch for a Raven/Lucius fic I'm working on that contains the element of chastity problems. (Please don't steal that idea... and if you do, at least credit it. "Inspired by R Amythest's "Thrown Into the Darkness"" etc....)

[2] He's forgetting about Priscilla. Simple as that.

[3] I have no clue how you do that, either. Please excuse my lack of sword knowledge. --sweatdrops--

[4] I found a site with 4 different wedding speeches and 4 ring speeches. I chose the ones that fit in the best and made most out of the irony. Please note, however, that they are MODERN speeches, revised with "St. Elimine" instead of Lord and God.

* * *

Endnote: --nods-- Yay! I like it much better than Flaming. And as for the last scene, if you can't understand it, it's Raven's and Rebecca's wedding... but Raven thinks he's marrying Lucius. Until the kiss. Then he's out from the pits of insanity and realizing with horror what he's just done. And missing Lucius. Terribly. --smiles sadly-- Someday I'll write a happy Raven/Lucius fic.

--nudges-- ...Someday. It'll come faster if you review...


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